WHERE DO I BEGIN? I haven’t written because I don’t know what to say. I keep waiting for 2014 to settle. Do you have this feeling too? So many people I know are feeling seriously off kilter these days. Others are hurting in more tangible ways. My heart goes out to them. The world feels even more crazy than usual. Mercury is in retrograde, they say, and I’m almost convinced it matters.
I spent most of January traveling through Nepal and northern India on a pilgrimage to the most sacred ancient Buddhist sites. It overwhelmed me in so many ways, and I’ll tell you all about it another time, once I figure out how. I’ve never had such a hard time adjusting to being back from a trip. The jet lag and lingering illness (and my cat’s illness) didn’t help, but they’re pretty much squared away by now. The biggest adjustment has been in my head.
I don’t want to overdramatize. I’m fine, really. But I feel spaced out. I find myself stretched thin emotionally. Or you might just look on the bright side and say I’m emotionally open. Things are getting to me in ways they usually don’t. It’s not all bad—a lot of it is good—but it’s all a little unsettling. And tiring. It’s too much.
I’d kind of like to have a normal, relaxing week. One way might be to start doing again those things I miss doing. Like this. Maybe I need to take myself on a nice date. Maybe I need a hug from you. Don’t freak out if I start to cry.