SO, HERE’S SOMETHING: What if you love someone unconditionally, like I’m always telling you to, and you rejoice in their popularity with others rather than get jealous, and that feels to them like you just don’t care? See, this is just the kind of craziness I think we need to get away from: the kind that says, If there’s no jealousy, it must not be love; or, more commonly (and more crazily), I’m crazy with jealously because I love you too much.
The quickest way to cut through that kind of drama is to just be real. If you’re scared or insecure, say so. There’s no shame in it. You’re human. Your love interest is there to support you. Hopefully. If it turns out they’re not, then at least you’ve learned something important.
If you love someone, tell them. It’s not that hard, really. People love to make a big deal out of those three little words. Saying them leaves you vulnerable, maybe, but isn’t that a good thing? If we can’t be vulnerable with each other, what is the point and where is the love? It’s natural to want to hear those words back. And that’s what we fear, right? That we won’t hear them back from the person we’ve just told “I love you.” Say it anyway. We shouldn’t care about getting something back.
But even if we do care, isn’t putting it out there worth it? Whether or not we get the reply we want, we get valuable information in return. As Olivia Newton-John famously sang, If you love me, let me know | If you don’t, then let me go. Of course, unless you are literally needing to take the chains away (which would usually indicate you have bigger problems than deciding what to say), you can always go…but it’s good to know what you are leaving.
Another fear that comes up around expressions of love is the fear of making the other person uncomfortable, especially if you’re not at all sure they feel the same way. (But isn’t this usually our own fear masquerading as consideration for the other person’s feelings?) Rather than making them uncomfortable, it’s much more likely you’ll make the person you tell feel really good. Who doesn’t want to hear they are loved?
What do you gain by keeping love hidden? What do you risk? Again, Olivia provides wisdom:
I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable
I’m not trying to make you anything at all
But this feeling doesn’t come along everyday
And you shouldn’t blow the chance
When you’ve got the chance to say
I love you
I honestly love you
So, get out there and tell someone you love them. Now! I dare you. If Olivia Newton-John can do it, so can you.